How to Avoid Abusive Relationships with Narcissists

Narcissists are charming, charismatic, and self-assured. They exude “success,” have a polished appearance, and carry themselves like celebrities. But the flip side of all this is manipulation, gaslighting, and emotional abuse. They are incredibly attractive, which is precisely why unrequited love and codependent relationships often arise when a partner is a narcissist.

According to Dr. Ramani Durvasula, a renowned psychologist and expert on narcissists and abusive relationships, approximately one in six people you know is likely a narcissist. “The sooner you realize this, the less emotional dependence you will form, and the easier it will be for you to make sound decisions about how to move forward.”

Relationships with narcissists initially seem perfect: “This is too good to be true!”—when all their attention is focused on you. But after a few weeks or months, things can drastically change—accusations, manipulation, emotional abuse begin to surface.

Recognizing a narcissist early on is not easy. Charm and charisma can also belong to empathetic, compassionate people capable of true understanding. So how can you tell if you’re dealing with a narcissist? The best indicators are often your own feelings.

5 Signs to Test for Narcissism:

1. Love for Compliments: A narcissist thrives on compliments and praise. Try giving one and observe their reaction. A true narcissist will accept compliments as their due, without any false modesty.
2. Self-Focus: A narcissist will prefer talking about themselves rather than you. Reflect on your conversation—how much of it was about your partner and how much about you? If it’s heavily skewed towards them, it’s a red flag.
3. Reaction to Criticism: Criticize them, even as a joke, and assess their reaction. If the criticism triggers them, it’s a clear sign of narcissism.
4. Empathy Test: Share a story that’s sure to evoke a strong emotional response. Observe how they react—what they say and how genuine their words seem.
5. Appearance Obsession: Evaluate how much attention they pay to their looks, clothing, and accessories. An excessive focus on appearance is another hallmark of narcissism.

Assessing someone for narcissism is no easy task, is it? That’s why SoulMatcher is the only dating app where you can identify a narcissist from the start. As creators of SoulMatcher, we understand how important it is to help users know the psychological profile of a potential partner so they can make informed decisions.

Every user is assessed for tendencies toward narcissism, empathy, and borderline personality traits through psychological tests. We also incorporate feedback from others—friends, ex-partners, and acquaintances—to ensure the evaluations are as accurate as possible.

The app includes a clinical narcissism test, which provides reliable results. If you’re registered in SoulMatcher and want to avoid narcissists, always check the scores on the Narcissism and Empathy scales. Ideally, the Narcissism score should not exceed 5 (out of a maximum of 10), and the Empathy score should be above 5.

As a platform, we strive to balance the interests of all community members. Personally, I know people who want to avoid narcissistic relationships and others who actively seek them, understanding how to navigate such dynamics. The well-being of our clients is our top priority.

If you’re not yet a SoulMatcher user, register now with the promo code PSILY to get your first month free!